OFFICIAL: The African Cup of Nations Group of Death is NOT South Africa's Group A! Here's how we know...

The only way is up: President Zuma draws Cape Verde last night

There is one simple way of showing – with a level of scientific accuracy but no footballing nous – why Bafana Bafana boss Gordon Igesund can be reasonably happy with last night’s yawn-a-minute AFCON 2013 draw.

It amounts to a simple mathematical formula for each of the groups drawn to compete in qualifying for the 29^th African Cup of Nations, which we now know will kick-off with South Africa playing the volcanic Cape Verde Islands at Soccer City on January 19 next year.

All you have to do to highlight the Group of Death is add up the current FIFA rankings of each team and the lower the total, the tougher the task. On that basis, we can come up with this:

GROUP A (Durban)

South Africa 76

Angola 83

Morocco 75

Cape Verde 51

TOTAL: 285

GROUP B (Port Elizabeth)

Ghana 31

Mali 27

Niger 137

DR Congo 103

TOTAL: 298

GROUP C (Mbombela)

Zambia 41

Nigeria 63

Burkina Faso 91

Ethiopia 118

TOTAL 313

GROUP D (Bafokeng)

Ivory Coast 16

Tunisia 45

Algeria 24

Togo 93

TOTAL 178

Clearly, on that basis, Group D is our Group of Death, rated 107 FIFA ranking points tougher than South Africa’s Group A, with all four sides capable of finishing in the top two spots and emerging from their pool.

But there are other reasons for Gordon to be happy with the draw. For instance Angola, Cape Verde and Morocco are three nations NEVER triumphant over Bafana in competitive action.

The nine volcanic islands of Cape Verde (there are actually ten, but one cannot sustain a permanent population), which lie 570km west of Africa, produced a footballing miracle by edging out Samuel Eto’o’s four-time winners Cameroon in their final qualifying round.

But with a population of just 500,000, the former Portuguese colony (uninhabited prior to discovery in the 15^thcentury) have lost both times they’ve come across South Africa on the football field, 2-0 in Bloemfontein and 2-1 in their capital, Praia. Sure, they've risen over 150 places in a little over two years but surely they can't travel all this way and stun Africa on January 19?

Angola saw off Zimbabwe to qualify – but only on away goals after a dynamic double from a bloke called Mateus Alberto Contreiras Goncalves in Luanda. The 29-year-old striker, known as Manucho, was due to be a great African star when he signed for Manchester United eight years ago, but he made only one competitive appearance at Old Trafford in three seasons.

As his career dwindles in Spain and Turkey, Manucho remains a threat. His 21 goals in 38 Palancas Negras appearances suggests trouble, but if Igesund can wrap him up in Siya Sangweni and Bongani Khumalo, the chances are Bafana will extend an unbeaten record of six games, three wins and three draws when the nations meet in Durban on January 23.

It’s Morocco, ranked just one better than South Africa, which should worry those headed for the Moses Mabhida on January 27. Though Bafana boasts two wins and a draw against a side slipping down the world rankings, Igesund will know the arrival of new coach Rachid Taoussi, in place of Belgium Eric Gerets, saw the Atlas Lions turn a 2-0 deficit in Maputo in to a 4-0 romp in Marrakesh in their final qualifying effort against Elias Pelembe’s Mozambique.

Igesund was all smiles after the draw at the Albert Luthuli International Conference Centre in Durban, which dragged on for nearly two hours after three too many speeches pushed Africa’s moment in the spotlight to a mere sideshow on a night of Champions League action in Europe which showcased so many African stars on Wednesday night.

Igesund, like all of us, held his breath when Nigeria emerged as the last ball drawn from the goldfish bowl. They ended up in Mbombela with champions Zambia and Gordon admitted: “It was touch and go! I though we were going to get the Nigerians! But look, all draws are tough and it was really a fairly good one for us. I think Morocco can be giants in Africa.”

Igesund’s counterpart Taoussi said: "It's a good group. It's hard, since South Africa is the host country and has home support."

Nigeria, who take on Burkina Faso first in Nelspruit, may be the shock troops of SA2013 with vast local ex-pat support. Coach Stephen Keshi, fresh from a 6-1 qualifying thumping of Liberia, played down his chances, insisting Burkina Faso, champions Zambia and Emmanuel Adebayor’s Togo are all “very good”.

But somehow, with the aging Ivory Coast in the Group of Death, a Nigeria v South Africa confrontation on February 10 at Soccer City seems as likely an African finale as any.

Euro2012 preview: Lionel Messi has a Czech mate

In Czech: Vaclav Pilar, Europe's answer to Lionel Messi

LIONEL MESSI has a Czech mate. When Euro2012 kicks off tomorrow night, all eyes will be on a 23-year-old called Vaclav Pilar when the Czech Republic takes on highly-fancied Russia.

Dick Advocaat’s Russia are among the pre-tournament favourites but the Czechs have qualified for every European Championship since the break-up of Czechoslovakia in 1993 – reaching the final against Germany at Euro96 with a side of shock troops that included Patrik Berger, Pavel Nedved and Karel Poborsky.

That record was under threat in October when they faced a play-off against England’s closest qualifying challengers Montenegro in Prague.

After a frustrating hour, it was Pilar who broke through with the first goal in a 2-0 home triumph to ease the passage of his nation, which at 18, is officially the same age as the new South Africa.

But it was playing for his club – the Czech champions Viktoria Plzen – that Pilar established himself last season as something of a European Messi.

Alongside the talented Petr Jiracek, Pilar shone as the unfancied Plzen finished third in a Champions League group featuring champions Barcelona and Italian giants AC Milan.

And when now-ex Barca boss Pep Guardiola picked out Pilar as the Plzen player who had impressed him most, the EuroMessi tag was neatly tied to his talented boots.

Since then, close pal Jiracek has gone to earn the big bucks with Wolfsburg in the Bundesliga - and Pilar is expected to make the lucrative leap to Engand, Spain, Italy or Germany soon.

But for now, the nation calls. Pilar says: "I don't think about my club fuure right now. I just fully focus on the Euro. But it would help me a great deal if I play well."

Still a relative international novice with nine caps, Pilar goes in to his first major tournament saying from the team’s training ground in Wroclaw: "I'm really looking forward to it. We're among the best 16 teams in Europe and my dream is to advance in the tournament."

Unlike World Cups, the European Championship rarely offers an easy game. After Russia tomorrow (8.45pm, live on SuperSport3 in South Africa), the Czechs have got 2004 shockers Grece and co-hosts Poland - who kick-off the tournament tomorrow night at 5pm (6pm in South Africa, also live on SuperSport3) to come in Group A.

Pilar says: "There are no easy opponents in this group or this tournament and I want to do all I can for the team to succeed. I haven't played many big games but I want to do my best."

While the Czechs may ease past hosts Poland - the lowest-ranked side in the tournament at 62 (that's six better than Bafana Bafana at 68) - to qualify with Russia, things will get no easier.

In the deadly Group B, Germany and Holland should emerge ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo's Portugal and dogged Denmark.

Group C should see champions Spain through, with Croatia perhaps getting the edge over troubled Italy and unlucky Ireland.

England may just sneak past Sweden in Group D with France on top and co-hosts Ukraine at the bottom.

The final? How about the Dutch to end Spain's four-year domination of world football?

You can follow me through Euro2012 on www.twitter.com/nealcol, http://www.facebook.com/nealivorcollins, my Tuesday Neal and Pray column in www.thenewage.co.za newspaper and on Monday mornings on eNews and eTV Sunrise. And every Saturday I'll be on SuperSport3 with EuroZone at 4pm, starting this week. I've been asked to be controversial. Like a certain Mario Barwuah-Balotelli. Don't miss it!

Day eight wrap-up: Great Danes, Sad Socceroos, Double Dutch, Anelka Banished and Rooney Apologises

On the day Nicolas Anelka was sent home by France for insulting coach Raymond Domenech and Wayne Rooney apologised to England’s long-suffering fans, the World Cup provided unexpected late night thrills here in Pretoria.

I suspect not many changed their Saturday night party schedule for Denmark versus Cameroon at the Loftus Versfeld rugby stadium but hey, you might have been converted. A chilly night on the Highveld provided only the second come-from-behind victory of the tournament in 26 games as Denmark pulled off a 2-1 win. It could have ended 10-10.

The two no-hopers in Group E, after a literally and figuratively pointless opening round, provided seriously entertaining fare. It nearly rivalled the USA’s 2-2 draw with Slovenia (we won’t mention the injustice of that scoreline, it’s already been discussed at length) and Greece’s 2-1 win over Nigeria.

Cameroon struck early through the great Samuel Eto’o, formerly of Barcelona, now of Internazionale in Milan. The man who threatened to withdraw from the tournament when he was criticised by the legendary Roger Milla, really looked like Africa’s top player again, rousing the crowd and the continent with a great first-half display.

After just 10 minutes, the former African player of the year benefited from another mistake from Danish defender Simon Kjaer. After his own-goal in the 2-0 defeat against Holland, he played a terrible cross-field pass, picked up by Achille Webo.

He squared for Eto’o, who made no mistake to slot past Thomas Sorensen. And that was just the start. End-to-end stuff ensued, with Eto’o hitting a post and Dennis Rommedahl cutting repeated swathes through the Cameroon defence.

Somewhere in the middle of all the excitement, Arsenal’s lanky goal-misser Nicklas Bendtner slid in on a Rommedahl cross to level after 33 minutes.

A breathtaking first half was followed by a dramatic second. After 61 minutes, Rommedahl was at it again. Charlton fans may remember his searing pace – he played 75 games for them between 2004 and 2007. Undimmed by 31 years of being knocked over by stolid left backs, he tore past Jean Makoun and bent the winner past Hamidou Souleymanou.

Cameroon, desperate to prove a force in Africa’s first World Cup, hammered away at Sorensen’s goal for the last half-hour. But Africa’s highest-ranked nation in South Africa – they’re 19^th- couldn’t produce the leveller. Like Nigeria, they have no points after two games – it’s been a tough tournament for the continent.

Day eight of an increasingly absorbing World Cup opened with Holland joining Argentina as the only sides definitely through to the knock-out stages. Their 1-0 win over Japan was no classic but the magnificent Moses Mabhida Stadium was packed to the rafters with Orange shirts celebrating a second-successive win for their side.

The Dutch fans had closed the motorways between Pretoria and Durban – a five-hour, 400 mile drive through the snow-covered Drakensburg mountains – as they travelled in convoy to follow their side on Thursday.

Bayern Munich’s Wesley Sneijder scored the only goal after 53 minutes. His firmly struck shot with the light Jabulani ball which appeared to deceive Japan goalkeeper Eiji Kawashima, who could only deflect the shot off his palms and into the net.

Japan coach Takeshi Okada, who looked close to tears at times during the game, said: “Our players tried everything they could. I'm really sorry for our supporters.”

Dutch coach Bert van Marwijk wasn’t fooled. This was hardly a classic case of Dutch total football. He said: “You've got to be happy about winning your first two games. But we can play better than that, and we'll have to.”

Then Ghana and Australia fought out a no-prisoners 1-1 draw in front of 33,000 at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium – a result which leaves the Soccceroos hanging on by their fingernails.

Ghana saw off Serbia in their opening game while Australia were beaten heavily, 4-0, by Germany. But day seven saw Serbia shock the Germans 1-0 – Group D really may stand for Death.

The Aussies went ahead through the lively Brett Holman after just 11 minutes but disaster struck 14 minutes later. Harry Kewell blocked a goal-bound shot on the line with his right arm and was sent-off despite pleading “look at the big screen, I didn’t mean it” as Italian referee Roberto Rosetti produced his red card.

Asamoah Gyan stuck away his second penalty of the tournament and it looked like Ghana would take control – but by the death it was 10-man Australia who were doing all the pushing.

Aussie boss Pim Verbeek said: “I’m proud of the players – playing with a man less for that long is not easy. We’re still in the race but it’s going to be difficult now. We need to win against Serbia and score at least three or four goals. Ok, that’s the job.”

Look, I know I rattle on about these things but, unbelievably, they want me to speak at South Africa’s National Arts Festival on July 4. Yes, it’s ridiculous. Me? Arts? Anyway, here’s the details if you can make it:http://www.computicket.com/web/event/neal_collins_a_game_apart/148367625

Germany 4, Australia 0 from the men who gave you the Blitz Krieg. World Cup day three is done.

Tim Cahill, Australia’s only world class player, summed this one up neatly before the game: "Germany are always there or thereabouts, we know how good they are."

An hour after the big World Cup kick-off for Durban’s magnificent Moses Mabhida Stadium, Germany were cruising at 2-0 up and Everton’s gritty Australian had been sent off.

In the opening Group D match at Pretoria’s Loftus Versfeld rugby stadium, Ghana saw off Serbia thanks to a late penalty. But Germany, despite fears about their goalkeeper and the form of their strikers, were far more impressive.

The Group of Death seemed to breathe fresh life in to struggling Bayern Munich pair Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski – and the Germans appeared to relish playing without their skipper Michael Ballack, injured during Chelsea’s FA Cup final triumph over Portsmouth last month.

It’s not that the Aussies are a poor side – they threatened frequently – it’s that the Germans looked so lethal coming forward. The nation who perfected the BlitzKrieg assault on the defenceless 70 years ago had 12 shots on goal before adding their third and fourth goals broke Socceroo hearts in the 68^th and 69th minutes. Slaughter.

Could it be an age thing? Australia started the game with an average age of 31 years and 118 days; Germany 25 years and 76 days. This is their youngest World Cup squad since 1934.

It showed. Durban waited just eight minutes for their first World Cup goal when Germany went ahead through Podolski – who scored just three goals all season – and Klose made it two with his third of the season in the 27^th minute.

The second half goals came from Thomas Muller and Brazilian-born Cacau after Cahill had been sent off for a lunge at Bastian Schweinsteiger. Routine German performance. Efficient, merciless. And we needed a bit of a goal glut after seeing just eight goals in the first six games.

My day was spent largely on the road to distant Polokwane in the far north of this fabulous country. A six hour drive saw another goalkeeping blunder... you can learn all you need to know by watching http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKuXMoitNg4.

Slovenia ended up beating Algeria 1-0 to go top of Group C after the USA’s highly-fortunate draw with England last night. But given what I witnessed today, neither of these two teams will threaten the big guns. I hope.

Problem is the runners-up in Group C play the top team in Group D. And given Germany’s form tonight against Australia, that may be a difficult game in Bloemfontein on June 27.

Group C’s table-toppers will probably play Ghana back in Phokeng’s Royal Bafokeng Stadium on June 26. I’m rather hoping that might be England. But at this gloriously unpredictable World Cup, who can tell?

What we can say without threat of contradiction is that the first three days have gone well for South Africa. Six superb venues, six perfect pitches, four sell-outs. Can’t host a World Cup in Africa? Oh yes they can.

Neal Collins (nealcol on Twitter) is in South Africa promoting his first novel A GAME APART, the book you must read to understand the importance of this World Cup. For more details, see http://www.nealcollins.co.uk.