HISTORICAL, HYSTERICAL: Orlando Pirates 3 (three, drie, trois, drei), El Ahly 0 (niks, nothing, nada, zilch)

Walking the plank: El Ahly goalkeeper Ekramy in Al-Gouna yesterday

القراصنة ثلاثة أهداف، "الأهلي لا شيء

I am reliably informed the sentence above is Arabic for “Orlando Pirates three goals, El Ahly NONE.”

And really, despite a fascinating start to our own Professional Soccer League, that is THE story of the weekend. Egyptian giants El Ahly hadn’t failed to score a goal at home since 2004. But Roger de Sa’s continental crushers gave them the kind of beating we won’t forget for a long, long time.

An opening goal from Thandani Ntshumayelo after an astonishing interchange with Collins Mbesuma made it 1-0 after 18 minutes, then came an incredible THIRD successive African Champions League penalty save from Senzo Meyiwa from Waleed Soliman in the 38th minute.

Just before half-time, the Algerian referee sent off Ahmed Abdul Zaher for dissent as he howled about yet another crunching Pirates tackle – and El Ahly, the defending African champions and three-time winners, never really recovered.

The second half belonged to Andile Jali. First he converted a 73rd minute penalty after Fathy (pronounced Farty) had felled Daine Klate, then – two minutes later – the Bafana reject produced a delightful little scooped pass to put Sifiso Myeni away for the third goal.

And that was it. In front of a windy, empty stadium at El Gouna on the Red Sea coast, the Egyptians were simply flabbergasted by the Pirates defence – the ageless Lucky Lekgwathi (estimates put him at 37) saved one of the line and tackled with all the subtlety of a Pharoah’s tomb.

It was at half-time I sent the under-pressure Pirates coach De Sa my usual SMS. Ths one said: “YOU FYCKING BEAUTY! ROGER DE SA YOU ARE A LEGEND!” He replied with "Yeeeepeeee" (see screen grab of SMSes above).

After the match, Roger said: “Fantastic result but look, we’re not getting carried away, there’s still four games to go in the group.

“I’m very happy but now I have to make sure we stay grounded – and get positive results.”

So you can rave all you want about Kaizer Chiefs’ hard-earned 1-0 win over promoted Mpumalanga Black Aces on Friday night. Clive Barker’s Dogs weren’t a million miles from humbling Stuart Baxter’s double-winning Gods in the PSL’s opening salvo.

And we can praise Cavin Johnson’s SuperSport United – 4-1 winners over Steve Khompela’s Free State Stars on Saturday – or Pitso Mosimane’s Monyloadi Signdowns for their 3-1 at tricky Bloemfontein Celtic. Some might say both were aided by harsh red cards.

But nothing compares with Pirates’ epic victory in El-Gounah. They go top of Group A on goal difference from Congo champions AC Leopards, who saw off Zamalec 1-0 in Dolisie.

Egypt’s Red Devils’ hadn’t lost at home since Tunisia’s Etoile Sahel beat them 3-1 in Cairo to lift the Champions League trophy six years ago. The game was played in afternoon heat and a gusting wind – but nothing could stop De Sa’s Buccaneers.

That second star may not be as impossible as we once assumed. As I said on twitter, a 3-0 win in Egypt is like the Springboks triumping 60-0 in Wellington or the Proteas enjoying a six-wicket victory in Delhi. Unthinkable.

BOLLOCKZ! my show on www.ballz.co.za, airs every Thursday from 10am-noon. 

You can also follow me on www.twitter.com/nealcol for all the latest sports news… and read my “Neal & Pray” column every Tuesday inwww.thenewage.co.za. A shorter version of THIS story will be published in The New Age on Tuesday.

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Lucky and Senzo with Robert Marawa: The MetroFM interview every Orlando Pirates fan - and South African - must read

Home safe: Senzo Meyiwa and Luck Lekgwathi with Rob tonight

It's not something you do too often as a football writer. But Robert Marawa's interview with Orlando Pirates captain Lucky Lekgwathi and goalkeeper Senzo Meyiwa tonight on MetroFM was just too good to miss.

Here it is, the chat with Lekgwathi, sent off in the first half of the troubled African Cup of Nations clash at TP Mazembe in the Democratic Republic of Congo, and the heroic Meyiwa, who saved TWO penalties to ensure their survival. The 1-0 defeat ensured progress to the group stages on a 3-2 aggregate win.

With the game blacked out in Lubumbashi, we discover some of the unseen details, the fear of poisoned juice at the hotel, Lucky being forced to stay in the dressing room, Meyiwa's faith in God... and how they only discovered the match hadn't been televised afterwards!

With tears and prayers aplenty, this is how it went:

Lucky: “They welcomed us well, the ambassador was there, we had a safe trip. The hotel was nice, we didn’t have to share rooms! I reckon five star, serious. Nice hotel, it was okay.

“The coach called us for a morning swim. We had to leave hotel at 12noon. Three hours in the stadium! We had a meeting at 11am, we ate. We asked for juice. They said it was finished.

“So we said, we’ll have water. Then they brought juice. We said, don’t drink it. The jug wasn’t sealed. You don’t know what they put inside the juice three hours before the game.

“We just drank water, we went to the stadium. Bottled water from the hotel. Sealed. We went to the stadium. There were police to escort us. Okay, we were singing.

“Roger said we must just forget the supporters. Back to the changing room. The opposition were showing arrogance.

“We started to play. We played very well to start. After 35 minutes, keeper played a long ball. I was in front of Mobutu. He kicked me from behind. The referee ran up and gave me a red card. I asked him why, he just said “kwa kwa”.

“But the players said they would die for me after I’d been sent off.”

Over to Senzo Meyiwa: “Once we got to Lubumbashi, we saw how the supporters are treating the “foreigners”. The hotel was okay. Made some phone calls, sleeping along. Then the issue of the juice, we suspected it was poisoned. We drank water.

“Went to the stadium, they showed us respect the supporters. There was one bang on the bus. We said “hey what’s going on” but it was okay. They gave us the treatment we deserved. They could see we were being robbed.

“What I can say, the referee can be on their side, but God said nothing will change. That gave us strength to make South African supporters proud of us.

“It was not a red card for Lucky. Not even a yellow. He was tackling Lucky. I thought he might give him a coaching, a yellow, but straight red.

“PENALTY NUMBER ONE: that was not a penalty. I told myself, let me do it for the country, for Orlando Pirates supporters, for the country, for the team. We’re in the Congo, we’re doing it for the nation. I told myself: I will do my best.”

Lucky: “After I was sent off I took a shower, then I wanted to go back and watch. They said no. There was a lady who said to us, it’s going to be tough. An old mama. I thought what she said to us.

“So I’d been told I can’t watch. When they told me we won, I started crying. They said Senzo saved two penalties. Juuuus!

“I said, you know what, we won the game because of God.”

Senzo: “They were wearing black and white. I thought they were supporting Orlando Pirates! When you’re playing away games, there’s not as much pressure. You can do anything you want and then you go home.

“I was doing everything. I was not scared of the supporters behind my back. Even the guy, before he kicked the first penalty, I could see myself saving it.

“How did I guess right? Eish, I don’t know. I stood behind the line. So there was no chance of a retake. I just stand there, watch this guy, then I tell him straight: “YOU WON’T SCORE”. He was laughing, I said it again.

“And then I made the save.”

“SECOND PENALTY: I caught it, I could see they wanted to follow up. Before the second one, a yellow card. When they were busy fighting with the referee. I was alone at the goal post. I said: “God, you want us to fail this thing? Please God, give me POWER. I believe in you.

“It was towards the end of the game. And then I cried. God came to me, he said “I know you, you’ll do it.

“The captain, who plays in the national team, he took it this time. He was scared. I go to him. I shout. He saw I was crying. He thought: “This keeper’s mad eh?”

“I thought “come to me” and I managed to save it. I said: YEEEEEES!

“It was one of those penalties where he stopped before he took it. I didn’t even move.

“You know, God was inside me. That was not Senzo Meyiwa. God himself was in me. He saved my team, he saved the nation, he made the nation proud of me.”

Marawa: “I can see the tears welling up in your eyes right now.”

Lucky: “You know what, I was with Rudolf Bester. I told him to close the door of the dressing room so I couldn’t hear them score.

“I was praying, crying, Please God! But before we left South Africa, the old mama, I was playing for her. 

Before we left, on the Wednesday, there was a pastor who played for us in Orlando. The Pirate ladies gave me a certificate for “the best captain ever”. They were there, it was a surprise at a lunch.

“The pastor prayed. He said this is for the captain. It was a big motivation for the younger players.

“Thanks to the Orlando Pirates ladies. May God bless them.

“We thought everybody was watching us in Lubumbashi! After the game, they told us the game was not televised, I heard from the girl sitting next to me!”

A sad night at the Orlando Stadium: The lessons South African football MUST learn from Saturday's violence

Pirates ahoy: the Orlando Stadium on Saturday night. Picture: IOL

There are vital lessons to be learned for South African football after Saturday night's troubled scenes following SuperSport United's shock 3-0 win over Orlando Pirates in a stormy MTN8 semi-final.

What happened on Saturday night – Benni McCarthy’s indiscipline, inept stewarding, poor security – cannot be glossed over as the club run by PSL Chairman Irvin Khoza attempts to put right Saturday’s on-field problems.

These are not the rantings of an angry fan of either side. I was at the game, in the midst of the Orlando Pirates fans, with my friend Khotso Ditshego. We witnessed every minute of the trouble, and the aftermath as we walked home from the ground close to midnight. I have seen trouble break out at games in England, Demark and France... and grew up amid serious football violence in South Africa in the dark days under Apartheid.

Determined action must be taken to avoid a repeat. But I fear it won't.
According to www.kickoff.com (neither they nor Laduma, the two biggest SA soccer sites mentioned the match-stopping violence in their match reports), Pirates have been fined a total of R361 000 for four incidents since March 2011, "yet the club keeps getting penalised for more or less the same small amount, with the majority suspended".
The whole situation highlights the conflict of interest inherent in having a club chairman running the national league, we can only hope the Iron Duke recognises that and allows a rigorous inquiry into what happened at his own stadium.

Instead I suspect we will hear all about how referee Robert Smith was suspended last year for failing to send off an unnamed Jomo Cosmos player for an apparent red card offence against AmaZulu.

Pirates coach Augusto Palacios has already suggsted Smith was at fault for infuriating the Ghost, but this is NOT about inept refereeing.

Though PSL head of communications Connie Motshumi suggests there WILL be disciplinary proceedings, I predict a small fine and a rap over the knuckles for the PSL champions.

But here's what should happen. Benni McCarthy, despite his twittered apology on Sunday, should be fined and suspended by the club on top of the regulation PSL punishment for red card. His actions, rushing over to confront Franklin Cale after a foul on Daine Klate, inflamed the situation and ultimately cost Pirates the match. To his credit, Benni has admitted as much on twitter.

Secondly, the stewards should hauled over the coals for failing to apprehend bottle throwers, inept searches of fans entering the stadium and allowing entry to drunken supporters. Instead, they simply stood and watched as the missiles came down. In Europe, stewards immediately make their way in to the fans - no matter how angry they are - and eject offenders from the ground.

I'm not saying the Orlando stewards weren't brave - just unprepared for the trouble and lacking training in how to deal with such situations. In Britain, stewards DON'T watch the football, they spend the entire game with their backs to the action looking for troublemakers. They act immediately to forcibly remove missile throwers, racist chanters and fights. That's why they're there. 

Thirdly, the public address announcer failed to call for calm or an end to the throwing of bottles and fireworks - even when the game was briefly suspended when Rowen Fernandez' goal came under fire. The PA announced substitutions throughout, but failed to respond to the growing violence.

Fourthly, fans in rival shirts belonging to a third team must be turned away. The thought of attending a Spurs v Chelsea game in an Arsenal shirt is just unthinkable in London. The practice MUST be banned in South Africa. Specifically, Kaizer Chiefs fans must be told to remove their colours at Pirates matches, and vice versa.

And finally, Buccaneer fans, shocked to find a referee brave enough to brandish a red card in Orlando, should be excluded from the next home game – a “behind closed doors" policy UEFA regularly uses in these situations. It hits the club hard in the pocket and reinforces the punishment for bad behaviour.

These lessons, particularly the training of stewards, must be learned.

Otherwise South African football could find itself back in the bad old days of crowd violence, intimidation and poor policing that were a major part of the game here and in Europe thirty years ago. I know. I was there. And nobody wants that.