Contract killer: If Orlando Pirates lose Bafana's two-goal hero Segolela now, it will be Tlou much

At the double: Tlou Segolela scored twice for Bafana in Maseru
despite his notoriously unmanageable hair 

My European friends don’t understand me anymore. I write things like “Cometh the man, cometh the Tower”. Or “Bernard could have Parked a bus in that gap”. I’ve even considered “Klate is no great Daine”. Then there’s simply “MashaMIGHTY!”

This is the language of football in South Africa, where men are men and aristocratic Chiefs battle plundering Pirates. In England, they bore themselves to death with Lamps, Roo and celebrating fourth place. Not here. Oh no. As Bill Shankly, the legendary Scotsman at Liverpool once said: “Football isn’t about life and death. It’s more important than that.”

After Sunday’s 2-0 friendly win against Lesotho – a competent if unspectacular success before the life or death World Cup qualifiers against the Central African Republic and Ethiopia – we have a new name to conjure with.

When Tlou Mashedi Segolela took Maseru by storm (okay, his first goal was an off-sidish tap in but the second, a turn and shot with his left, was a cracker) I immediately tweeted: “TLOU MUCH!” and set about discovering what the story is with his contract at Orlando Pirates.

It’s not complicated. The man from Polokwane – born on the same day as me (March 1) but 27 years later – is known as “Rea Viya” (“here we go”, though his first name means elephant) for his express pace (presumably he runs better than those buses) and has waited a long time for his big break.

Sunday was just that. When he rammed home the second I pointed out that his transfer value has just rocketed – though with no new contract on the table at Parktown, perhaps the Buccaneers are about to miss out on his sudden marketability.

In January last year, Segolela said he was happy to sign a two-year contract until June 2014. But with a year to run, big clubs tend to offer a new contract to keep star players happy, maintain transfer value – and stop them from signing a pre-contract with a rival club.

And then you have to ask: How can this happen? How can South Africa’s latest footballing flavour of the month be  left to see out his contract at one of South Africa’s richest clubs? I’ve been SMSing Roger de Sa – he told me last week he’s on holiday on the Algarve in Portugal until June 10 – asking him just that.

This bizarre system when the coach apparently has little to do with new contracts and transfers appears to be the problem. At Mamelodi Sundowns, Johan Neeskens was undone by Trott Moloto’s ridiculously expensive moves in the market, at Kaizer Chiefs Stuart Baxter has enjoyed the signings acquired by Bobby Motaung, but at Pirates, Screamer Tshabalala appears to have no contact at all with the under-pressure De Sa right now with the transfer window open and the group stages of the CAF Champions League pending.

After his two-goal Man of the Match performance in the windy Maluti mountains on Maseru’s unforgiving plastic surface, Tlou himself said: “I am looking forward to the World Cup games. I just want to stamp my authority here, become a regular for Bafana Bafana.

“Look, this was a good confidence booster for me and I am happy with how I I played.”

Everyone appears stunned to find Tlou centre-stage. Okay, South Africa are ranked 56th in the world by FIFA and Lesotho just 155. But two goals for his country is a marvellous boost. And remember, in 2011 and 2012 he picked up SIX winners’ medals as the Pirates under various coaches pouched the double trebles.

But that masks the full truth. Segolela has been at Pirates since 2007, when he left local club Seemole as a teenager from Moletjie near Polokwane. In five seasons since then, he has played just 45 games for the Sea Robbers. He played 38 for Bloemfontein Celti on loan in 2009/10.

He won goal of the season a year later for his Maradona-like effort which began in his own half against Free State Stars at the Botchabelo Stadium. The man also known as “Gautrain” derailed four defenders en route to goal. He also provided the corner for Isaac Chansa’s title winning goal that year.

But no matter who the coach is at Orlando – Ruud Krol, Julio Leal, Augusto Palacios or Roger de Sa – Segelelo struggles to keep a regular place in the first team, which is probably why they allowed his contract to run down.

Clearly, Screamer and Roger – with the permission of chairman Irvin Khoza of course – must get their heads together over this bloke. Kaizer Chiefs are lurking. Mamelodi Sundowns are always looking to invest.

To lose Segolela now would be erm… simply Tlou much.

It's not a CAR crash: Matlaba's wondergoal, Ethiopia's late winner and the rocky road to Brazil

Bruised Bafana: Dean Furman after his visit to hospital

Many of us were still raving about Thabo Matlaba’s cracker for Bafana Bafana in Cape Town on Saturday night when a far more significant strike hit the back of the net in Addis Ababa on Sunday afternoon.

We have every reason to hail Orlando Pirates full-back Matlaba’s effortless effort as one of the best  for South Africa – and no cause to doubt the value of Bernard Parker’s strike in a well-deserved 2-0 win over the war-torn Central African Republic in Cape Town.

But it was Getaneh Kebede’s highly-fortunate 88^thminute goal for Ethiopia – which secured a vital 1-0 win over our neighbours Botswana – which may just prove the most significant moment when it comes to deciding who travels to Brazil next year.

Gordon Igesund was understandably upbeat after his side’s well-deserved triumph over CAR – he even talked in terms of a slightly premature scouting trip to Brazil to assess conditions, grinning: “We don’t want to get caught out. I know some people are laughing, but we have to look at where we can set up camp next year!”

World Cup debutant Igesund, who wasn’t in charge for the opening Group A draws against Ethiopia in Bafokeng and Botswana in Gaberone last year, said: “Just getting the win was so important for us – yes, we could have scored more goals but we were better than them in all departments.

“You can’t say we were careless, we created chances and we scored two of them. We do get a little excited in front of goal and we could have won 4-0. But you can’t ask for more than a win and I think we can go there and get points. The guys are starting to believe in themselves, but it’s not going to be easy – I’m told we’ll play on a small pitch.

“As long as we’re playing attacking football I’m happy. We’ve got to keep working on these things. We’ll get better and Tokelo Rantie will get better and he’ll get his confidence.”

Igesund surprised analysts by picking Bloemfontein Celtic’s Thabo Nthethe to partner Morgan Gould at the heart of his defence ahead of Russian-based Siyanda Xulu and Gould’s Kaizer Chiefs colleague Tower Mathoho.

He grinned: “Nthethe was outstanding. He doesn’t play for a “big” team but he’s an unassuming lad who won every ball and I’m very, very pleased with his performance.”

As for the clash-of-heads injury to Doncaster Rovers midfielder Dean Furman, Igesund said: “Deano has gone to hospital, he has a couple of stitches in his eye. He had to go to hospital because he had a bit of double vision.

“You’d think he had gone a couple of rounds with George Foreman by the way his face looks!”

Bafana media officer Matlhomola Morake later tweeted the picture above and told Deano’s growing fan club: “Furman is fine and back with the team, nothing broken. Cut above the eye and sore nose. Not serious.”

We should also question the vision of one Herve Lougoundji, the CAR coach. Raging about his side's disallowed goal – which clearly involved a “hand of God” – he said: “In Africa the issue is referees. The way he handled this match was NOT okay.

“How can the referee call a goal, and the linesman did not show any sign of a problem until the players started shouting? It is not acceptable at all.”

Igesund’s reply sums that debate up rather well: “It’s not even a debate – you can’t score a goal with your hand. It was definitely a handball.”

So at the halfway point in qualifying, both Ethiopia and South Africa are unbeaten – but Bafana trail by two points with tough away games against CAR and the leaders to come plus a home three-pointer against Botswana’s Zebras. Igesund’s scouts have already warned conditions on the road in CAR will be “a nightmare”.

The big question now is: What happens to Bafana’s June 7 clash in the Central African Republic? On Sunday, the civil war in the landlocked nation raged on with rebels forcing the President Francois Bozize to flee amid reports of SIX South Africa soldiers – assigned to provide “VIP protection” for the president - killed.

Assuming peace returns and football can be played, South Africa can travel to CAR with some confidence, having outplayed their higher-ranked rivals in Cape Town, while Igesund will desperately hope that Botswana, bottom of group A with a single point, get something from their clash with Ethiopia in Gaberone.

But if the trouble continues, a neutral venue may be needed – or CAR could find themselves unable to complete their fixtures. That would mean points earned against them are forfeited, meaning both South Africa and Ethiopia lose 2-0 wins.

But perhaps the final word today should go to Mr Matlaba. Hero of the hour. His take on a wondergoal? “Gordon tells us to believe in ourselves. I did. I always try to shoot from distance. I told myself wasn’t going to pass. So I took a shot – and hit the target.”

If only all things were that simple.

An abbreviated version of this story will appear in www.thenewage.co.za as my Neal and Pray column on Tuesday. 

When "What Can I Do?" simply isn't enough: the Pitso Mosimane story

The people have spoken: Pitso Mosimane

LIKE a character in a Nando’s advert, Pitso Mosimane could go up in smoke at any time, detonated amid a wave of drawophobia from a frustrated football-speaking nation.

The Bafana Bafana boss knew the writing was on the wall on Sunday night, after a yet another disappointing draw – this time a 1-1 stalemate against FIFA’s 138th-best country Ethiopia to open his first World Cup qualifying campaign.

Brazil 2014 seemed a long way off for all of us on Sunday night. For Mosimane, the 47-year-old from Kagiso, Rio de Janeiro may now be off the agenda after failing to win for nine games and pleading: “What can I do?”

Mosimane’s international coaching tensure could be barely more substantial than his 4-cap playing career for Bafana nearly ten years ago. Though I argued on eTV Sunrise and eNews yesterday that he should stay in charge for the second game against Botswana on Saturday, SAFA called an emergency meeting at their NASREC headquarters at 9am to discuss the future of the former Cosmos and Sundowns journeyman.
Eight hours later, Gordon Igesund had emerged as the favored candidate with Pitso back in Phokeng with the squad amid whispers of government intervention from Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula and Irvin Khoza on the warpath. Igesund is out of contract with Moroka Swallows at the end of the month and according to kick-off.com "negotiations are taking place" with SAFA.
As I write, that SAFA meeting is ongoing – perhaps his articulate assistant Steve Komphela is adding his input. By 11am, after 13 hours of dithering, SAFA had still failed to release anything official with a spokesman saying "there are procedures to be followed."

Komphela, the Free State Stars miracle-worker appointed by SAFA three months ago, may take over in Gaberone if Pitso goes up in smoke. The people’s choice, Igesund, remains in China on tour with his rebuilt Moroka Swallows but may still have time to take charge before Sunday. Gavin Hunt and Shakes Mashaba have also been mentioned. At least, as the social networks said yesterday, Komphela talks a good game.

And really, that was always Pitso’s problem. As No2 during the World Cup in 2010, he was friendly enough. But by the time he took over from Carlos Alberto Ferreira, the whispers had begun.

The non-qualifying celebrations after that infamous draw against Sierra Leone should have been the end of course. I remember asking a former team-mate and television analyst why nobody had told Pitso he needed a win rather than a draw to reach AFCON2012. He said: “I never speak to Pitso. Since he became Bafana boss he’s deleted my number from his phone and he never returns my calls.”

Since then of course, Bafana have failed to win again and again. Few were distracted by the non-payment of the sangoma who claimed to be responsible. And though South Africa produced a near-heroic final half-hour at the Royal Bafokeng Palace on Sunday, the winner just wouldn’t come after the alleged killer Katlego Mphela’s 77th-minute equaliser.

It was, to put it mildly, a Phokeng disappointment.

And Mosimane’s post-match efforts to justify his shortcomings were hardly glittering.

He said: “It is not for me to say whether I must stay or go. I don't even have to respond to what people say. The pressure is there and it will always be there. But we still have 15 points to play for, okay?

"Botswana won’t be easy but the team is fighting. It’s not as if we are losing. No, no, there is a little bit of integrity. We believe we can take three points in Botswana on Sunday.

"What can I do? The usual story happened, chances were created but we didn't take them. How do I sort out the problems of South African football? Siyabonga Nomvete has scored the most goals this season and I had him in the team.

“He scored 20 for Moroka Swallows. And we created chances, Hey! Let's have fair play. You see, in South Africa we don't want to accept reality.

“Things have not been going well for us since we won the 1996 Cup of Nations – but we still don’t change the formula. The world is catching up with us. We don't want to accept that we are not scoring goals. We don't want to accept that our development programmes are not good.

"It took Spain 80 years to win the World Cup, but they had to change. We don't change the formula yet we expect different results. Let’s be shrewd. Whether I'm here or not they will miss the chances.”

So we don’t know who will be Bafana boss in Botswana on Sunday (live at 3pm on SABC1). But here’s my suggested eleven to face the guns of Gaberone – with Nomvethe reduced to an impact substitute and Reneilwe Letsholonyane rested after a season marred by injury: Sandilands, Gaxa, Masenamela, Mathoho, Gould, Jali, Mahlangu, Pienaar, Modise, Mphela, Rodgers (or Serero if he's over bereavement).