VIDEO: Robin van Persie has missed. I repeat, Robin van Persie has missed PLUS Tokelo Rantie on his debut

COULD THIS BE THE REASON WHY SIR ALEX FERGUSON WENT BACK ON HIS WORD AND RETIRED? The death of Jock Stein, Wales v Scotland, 1985

DEATH ON THE TOUCHLINE: Jock Stein collapses in Cardiff, 1985... a
young Alex Ferguson can be clearly seen behind him

SIR ALEX FERGUSON is 71. Next month he is due for a hip operation, delayed until the end of Manchester United’s 20^thtitle-winning season.

Unless you live on Uranus, you’ll know Sir Alex Ferguson retired today, giving an eloquent statement and suggesting “the time was right” just days after insisting he had "no plans to walk away".

Curious. Why would Sir Alex change his mind so abruptly? What sparked his decision?

I think I may have the answer. On 10 September 1985, Scotland drew 1–1 with Wales at Ninian Park in Cardiff, securing a play-off against Australia which would lead to qualification for the 1986 FIFA World Cup.

On that fateful day 28 years ago, the legendary Scottish football manager Jock Stein suffered a heart attack at the end of the game and died shortly afterwards in the stadium's medical room.

He was 62 years old, nearly a decade younger than Sir Alex, who considered big Jock a hero and his mentor.

Sir Alex was there that day. Right next to the man he considered a father figure. He was Scotland’s assistant manager, in recognition of his phenomenal achievements at Aberdeen. Ferguson went on to lead the team in the 1986 World Cup in Mexico, without great success, months before moving to Manchester United.

Here’s how Sir Alex remembers that day: “When Davie (Cooper) put the penalty in, Jock didn’t say a word. Shortly afterwards the big man rose to move towards Mike England (the Wales coach).

"But as he did, he stumbled. I grabbed for him as he started to fall. The medics came out of the tunnel. I held him until he was helped inside.

“When I left to speak to the press I saw Graeme Souness (suspended that day and on the bench) and he was crying. “I think he’s gone,” Graeme said. I couldn’t believe it.

“When we filed on to the bus there were thousands standing outside and the quiet sadness of the atmosphere was unforgettable. The abiding memory is of a solemn silence.

"It was as if the king had died.”

Stein was later found to have suffered a massive heart attack. Professor Stewart Hillis, the Scotland doctor that night, was also Big Jock's general practitioner. Years later he recalled: “Near the end of the game, all the photographers were cramming around the Welsh bench at 1-0.

"Everything changed though when Cooper's penalty went in. The focus changed to our bench.

"Jock ushered at least one photographer away. He looked his normal self, strong and vital.

Close: Jock and Alex on the Scotland bench

"But with around two minutes to go, the referee's whistle sounded and Jock thought the match was over. He got up and then collapsed to his knees.

"We had a full medical team in the stadium's medical room. We were trying to revive him.

"His last words were, 'I'm feeling much better now, doc'. But I knew there was nothing more that could possibly have been done. We had all the available equipment.

"I stayed with Jock after he was gone. He had heart muscle disease and was supposed to be taking tablets to help remove fluid from his body. It was later revealed he had been skipping the tablets."

Sir Alex will never forget that night. Is it possible that, during preparations for his hip operation, the world’s greatest manager was told he had blood pressure problems? He often looks red-faced, as most do at his age. A “dodgy ticker” as they might say in England?

Pure speculation of course, from 5,000 miles away. We may never know the truth. There may not be one. But I’d suggest Sir Alex’s abrupt turnaround and decision to quit won’t have been made without images of that night in Cardiff clear in his mind. Death on the touchline tends to linger in the memory of a football coach.

After all, today was quite a shock for United fans and shareholders. Just last Sunday, in his programme notes before the 1-0 defeat against Chelsea at Old Trafford, Ferguson responded to questions about his future by saying: “I certainly don’t have any plans at the moment to walk away from what I believe will be something special.

“This team of champions is not going away - we are here for the long ride.

“We will get better and if we apply ourselves in our normal fashion, I see our 20th league title as nothing but the start of another decade of success.

“Whether I will be here to oversee another decade of success remains to be seen, but I certainly don’t have any plans at the moment to walk away from what I believe will be something special and worth being around to see.”

Working on in to your 70's is hardly unusual these days. But managing a football team? Particularly Manchester United? Such pressure would tax a man half his age. As Sir Alex said today: “I am looking forward to the future now."

Sir Alex Ferguson, 71, retires after 27 years: the statement in full

Old Trafford legend: Sir Alex Ferguson

There is little that can be added to the statement released by Sir Alex Ferguson today. At 71, after 27 years at Old Trafford, with a hip replacement operation looming, he's GONE. Fergie will stay on as a director at Manchester United and will bow out publicly before the home game against Swansea on Sunday.

Since taking over an ailing giant from Ron Atkinson in 1986, Sir Alex won 38 trophies: 13 league titles, two Champions League crowns, five FA Cups and four League Cups.

Jose Mourinho has been installed as favourite to take over from Ferguson by bookmakers, with Everton's David Moyes and Borussia Dortmund's Jurgen Klopp also in the running.

Here's how his retirement was announced:

“The decision to retire is one that I have thought a great deal about and one that I have not taken lightly. It is the right time.

"It was important to me to leave an organisation in the strongest possible shape and I believe I have done so. The quality of this league winning squad, and the balance of ages within it, bodes well for continued success at the highest level whilst the structure of the youth set-up will ensure that the long-term future of the club remains a bright one.

"Our training facilities are amongst the finest in global sport and our home Old Trafford is rightfully regarded as one of the leading venues in the world.

"Going forward, I am delighted to take on the roles of both Director and Ambassador for the club. With these activities, along with my many other interests, I am looking forward to the future.

"I must pay tribute to my family, their love and support has been essential. My wife Cathy has been the key figure throughout my career, providing a bedrock of both stability and encouragement. Words are not enough to express what this has meant to me.

"As for my players and staff, past and present, I would like to thank them all for a staggering level of professional conduct and dedication that has helped to deliver so many memorable triumphs. Without their contribution the history of this great club would not be as rich.

"In my early years, the backing of the board, and Sir Bobby Charlton in particular, gave me the confidence and time to build a football club, rather than just a football team.

"Over the past decade, the Glazer family have provided me with the platform to manage Manchester United to the best of my ability and I have been extremely fortunate to have worked with a talented and trustworthy Chief Executive in David Gill. I am truly grateful to all of them.

"To the fans, thank you. The support you have provided over the years has been truly humbling. It has been an honour and an enormous privilege to have had the opportunity to lead your club and I have treasured my time as manager of Manchester United."

Why Roger and out is not the answer: Orlando Pirates can do a Manchester United

JOLLY ROGER: Pirates coach Roger De Sa

IT TAKES MORE THAN A VUVUZELA TO KNOCK ME DOWN. BUT WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

Those are not my words, they are the words of Bucca Bucca boss Roger de Sa, the only football coach under more pressure than QPR’s Harry Redknapp in the football-speaking world right now.

De Sa, pelted with vuvuzelas by the violent elements of the Ghost after Wednesday night’s epic 1-1 draw with AmaZulu in Durban, has never shied away from the pressures of managing one of South Africa’s biggest footballing franchises.

A few weeks ago, the former Wits and Santos boss told me: “Every week could be my last at Pirates,  I face that every day and I face it head on. I knew that when I took this job.”

After the missile-throwing mayhem at the Moses Mabhida – the FIFTH incident of Ghostly misbehaviour from the nation’s most notorious fans in two tears – De Sa shrugged off the impending furore: “It takes more than a vuvuzela to know me down! Sometimes it's just a bunch of crazy fans. You don't see that happening. You need to speak to people who know the game.

“Obviously you’re always going to get a couple of them that are angry, that’s the way it goes in football all over the world.

“Fans want to blame one person. We’re second on the log. When I arrived at this club they were 10th.”

We exchanged text messages last night, with De Sa – hit in the face by one missile thrown by the crowd - offering a reassuring “Yup, all okay” before issuing the stock quote: “Time is running out. It's becoming more and more difficult. We have to focus, keep on working.”

De Sa admits his side “took the foot off the pedal” after going ahead in Durban and he now boasts a record of one-pointers to rival SuperSport United coach Gavin Hunt. Some say Pirates – without a PSL win in five – are drawing more than the controversial cartoonist Zapiro.

But Pirates fans should note AmaZulu, under new coach Craig Rosslee, are hardly a pushover these days. Unbeaten this year, former Pirates assistant coach Rosslee said: “It was like a boxing match at times. Pirates looked hungry but we clawed our way back to get a point. I'm very happy with the way the guys got back into the game.”

And the missile-throwing Ghost may not have noticed Kaizer Chiefs, seven points ahead of their Soweto rivals, nearly came unstuck themselves in a come-from-behind 1-1 draw with Maritzburg United at Polokwane.

Now Pirates face the home leg of their Champions League tie with Zambia’s habitual title-holders Zanaco at Soccer City on Saturday while Chiefs go to Golden Arrows in the PSL. Defeat for Chiefs means Pirates, if they were to win both games in hand against Ajax and Sundowns, could go to within a point of the top with five to play.

Unlike Spain, England and Germany, the PSL remains wide open if Chiefs let complacency creep in despite Stuart Baxter’s strict instructions not to.

With #rogerandout trending on twitter, I urge caution to those Buccaneers hoping for last-gasp regime change, a reflex sacking in Chippa style.

True, there will be no third treble for the Iron Duke’s Sea Robbers. The sacking of Ruud Krol after the first championship was a mistake De Sa could do nothing about. And the decision to let Tokelo Rantie return to Scandinvia after a year on loan plundering goals with Benni McCarthy was out of his hands too.

De Sa took over from Peruvian youth coach Augusto “Bad Back” Palacios at a time of turmoil early this season, he did so in the middle of huge upset in his own private life (see http://www.neal-collins.blogspot.com/2012/09/music-to-iron-dukes-ears-benni-mccarthy.html, some Pirates fans may feel less inclined to confront their coach after reading) and he has, despite the obvious difficulties, taken the club to second in the PSL and further in the Champions League than most expected.

I felt Pirates did okay against AmaZulu and have every chance of taking the title fight down to the wire. Others are less optimistic. They are amazed to hear last year’s Championship-clincher McCarthy was in Spain on personal business while his team-mates were fighting it out against AmaZulu.

One source inside the club told me how, when Benni won an award at the PSL honours ceremony last year, he spent the ENTIRE R15,000 prize money on drinks for the squad.

And they suggest Benni – who famously fought with De Sa and his hardman assistant Eric Tinkler when after the Telkom KO final between Wits and Pirates last season – is the key to unrest in the camp. That his couldn’t care less attitude – which includes attending boxing matches, commentating on SuperSport when his side are playing and contradicting De Sa on his fitness – has poisoned the atmosphere.

Moeneeb Josephs, replaced by Senzo Meyiwa in goal, has a role to play too. Dropped and injured, the shadow of Josephs looms large. He may be toothless but the man has fangs; he is a major character and a charismatic figure. Before the last Soweto derby, Irvin Khoza apparently told De Sa Josephs MUST play after the defeats against Maluti FET College and Moroka Swallows saw Meyiwa concede seven goals in two games.

But De Sa stuck to his guns, ordered Josephs to stay well away from Soccer City to prevent chants of “Slimkat” from the Ghost, and Senzo was man of the match in a goalless draw.

Then there’s the Nigerian veteran Onyekachi Donatus Okonkwo. In his second spell at the club, Okonkwo has done little of merit but my scorpions tell me the man who once famously got to grips with referee Daniel Bennett he had a tiff with one of the technical staff recently amid growing tensions.

Andile Jali started Wednesday night’s game like a train and my Bafana scouting instincts were alerted – but the little man soon tired and was spraying wayward passes by the end. Was that heart problem in 2010 just a scare?

Lucky Lekgwathi, the over-experienced captain, was blamed by some for the equaliser while Siya Sangweni’s injury comes on top of casualties like Thandani Ntshumayelo and Rooi Mahamutsa.

Take all this and then throw in Patrick Phungwayo, persuaded to have a go at De Sa – who was also his boss at Wits – in the post-match interview on Wednesday.

Yes, the list of problems is long, but not endless.

To those Pirates fans who suggest the team is “not trying” because De Sa has “lost the dressing room” I say: BUNKUM. It’s too early for professional players to give up and scupper their coach’s career when there is silverware still to be won.

I suggest the Ghost should haunt Zanaco tomorrow (8.15pm LIVE on SABC1). Blimey, if they never get punished for it, then why not throw missiles at the Zambians and create a nasty atmosphere for African Champions league visitors for once. Victory over the big-talking bankers – stunned by a 1-0 home defeat in the first leg - would be a REAL coup for South Africa football.

And for the rest of the season – or at least until Benni sings and the title is mathematically beyond their reach – perhaps it would be a good idea for all black-and-white fans to support De Sa and his so-called DeSasters.

If you won’t take my word for it, how about this from Lekgwathi, a man I have met and admired: "Our supporters have to understand that not all games will go our way. They should support us in good times and bad, that is what true supporters do.

"We can overcome this slump, this winless streak must end. We are a big club and winning has become a way of life - but supporters need to understand sometimes victory is hard to come by. We must pull together.”

Seven points behind with a game in hand? Stranger things have happened. Ask Kevin Keegan, the Newcastle manager in 1995. His Toon were 12 points ahead of Manchester United in February. And they famously blew it, leaving Sir Alex Ferguson all smiles and Keegan headed for the exit.

Have faith, Bucca Bucca. You never know…

Q3 STANDINGS

	Played	GD	Points
Kaizer Chiefs	8	10	18
Moroka Swallows	8	5	17
SuperSport United	8	3	15
Bidvest Wits	8	2	15
AmaZulu	8	1	13
Orlando Pirates	7	3	12
Platinum Stars	8	2	11
Mamelodi Sundowns	8	3	10
Bloemfontein Celtic	8	-1	10
Golden Arrows	8	-1	10
Maritzburg United	8	-2	9
Free State Stars	8	0	8
University of Pretoria	8	-3	6
Ajax Cape Town	7	-6	4
Black Leopards	8	-8	4
Chippa United	8	-8	4

A tale of two derbies: Manchester and Soweto send their mighty table-toppers out to grass

Give a little whistle: Referee Robert Smith and Pirate Andile Jali

MANCHESTER and Soweto. Two football-mad communities 5,773 miles or 9 288km apart. At first glance they have just presented us with a pair of dazzling derbies, pitting two of the biggest clubs in their respective nations against each other.

Take One: At Soccer City on Saturday, in front of 90,000, champions Orlando Pirates took on the nation’s most popular club, Kaizer Chiefs, trailing their Soweto rivals by three points in the South African PSL.

Take Two: At the Etihad Stadium on Sunday, in front of 60,000, champions City  took on the nation’s most popular club, United, trailing their Manchester rivals by three points in the English Premier League.

We could go on and on about the similarities. Both were games of two halves. Pirates dominated the first half of the Soweto derby, Chiefs the second as they came back to draw 1-1.

United dominated the first half of the Manchester derby, City the second as they came back from 2-0 down to 2-2.

Both referees were roundly condemned for a series of bizarre decisions. Both Manchester United’s Ashley Young and Orlando Pirates’ Collins Mbesuma had goals disallowed for off-side decisions that were to prove entirely spurious.

But then we come to the vital difference, the essential factor. In Manchester, both sides were looking for a winner until the final gasp of derby-drenched air. In Soweto, once Lehlohonolo Majoro had equalised Mbesuma’s opener, Kaizer Chiefs boss Stuart Baxter simply shut up shop, he was happy with a point.

Had substitute Benni McCarthy’s late volley roared in to the top of the net rather than just over the bar, it would have been a game to savour. Instead, with the nation and ESPN Star Sport’s international millions watching, we had to wait for never-say-die Platinum Stars to register an astonishing 6-4 over Golden Arrows to boast about the prolific goal-scoring of the PSL. And by then the international audience was gone, not to mention the domestic viewers, forced to endure AmaTuks 1, Chippa United 0.

In Manchester, Roberto Mancini, having dragged off the eternally angry Mario Balotelli, had thrown Carlos Tevez in to the fray (why he started with the Italian instead of the Argentinian we shall never know), much as Roger de Sa turned to McCarthy. It worked as City came back from the two first half Wayne Rooney goals to level through Yaya Toure and Pablo Zabaleta with seven minutes remaining.

But through it all, we had ignored the single most important factor on the pitch. The presence of former Arsenal top-scorer Robin van Persie. When all seemed lost for United, Sir Alex Ferguson got up and gave us a septuagenarian version of Gangnam Style when Robin’s free-kick went in off cowering former Gunner team-mate Samir Nasri in the last minute.

It all went haywire after that, with Rio Ferdinand cut above the eye by a coin-throwing home fan – we all know Manchester City tend to throw money at their problems these days – and police stepped in to arrest the villain plus a pitch invader and a racist chanter as the derby came to a drama-soaked conclusion.

Sir Alex Ferguson summed it up pretty well afterwards, as he generally does: “It was a fantastic game; you couldn’t take your eyes off it.”

And that’s the point. Sure, Martin Atkinson in Manchester and Robert Smith in Soweto will be scrutinised for some dodgy decisions. The top of the table battles will be picked apart. All four coaches know the race is far from run. But the truth is, too many South African games don’t go down to the wire, the last drip of perspiration.

I felt last season that both Serbian Vladimir Vermezovic at Kaizer Chiefs and Brazilian Julio Leal at Orlando Pirates tended to treat games as “don’t lose” rather than “must win” situations. This season the surprising Baxter and his counterpart De Sa have been a lot more positive.

But what the PSL and their global audience needed on Saturday was a stirring final 20 minutes of “win or bust” from both coaches, throwing everything forward to clinch a vital three points against their closest and biggest rivals.

Instead, the experienced match-winner McCarthy aside, we had two teams scared to disappoint. It’s understandable. But it takes the edge of what could be the best league in Africa.

Sure, Katlego Mphela’s miracle Pitso Mosimane cure (apparently he was suffering from a sore Kneeskens) is worth debating after his comeback goal for Sundowns against Leopards. And we should talk about my beloved AmaZulu picking up a surprise point against Wits.

But it truth my plea is this: Go for glory with gusto. Like Everton did on Sunday against Spurs. Steven Pienaar got one of their two last-gasp goals in a 2-1 triumph when everything looked lost against his former club. According to the British Express over the weekend, Schillo is still mulling over a return to the Bafana Bafana ranks for AFCON 2013 next month.

But that’s a story for next week. This week’s lesson is: it’s never over until big Benni sings.

Cheeky monkey: Mark Clattenburg finally gets his whistle back tomorrow night

Black mark: Clattenburg and Mikel

MARK CLATTENBURG will return to refereeing tomorrow night for the first time since his outrageous exhibition of wayward whistling at Stamford Bridge on October 28.

But while the 37-year-old from Newcastle goes back to work, Chelsea’s Nigeria international John Obi Mikel faces a charge of misconduct from the English Football Association, with the outcome expected later this week.

Though Chelsea have yet to recover from Clattenburg’s machinations nearly a month ago, the referee in question was the fourth official at White Hart Lane for Tottenham’s win over West Ham on Sunday.

And Clattenburg will be in possession of the whistle for the first time when Norwich travel to Southampton tomorrow night. It is unlikely he will use the word “monkey” at any point.

The FA’s official website says simply: "Chelsea’s John Obi Mikel has been charged by The FA for an alleged breach of FA Rule E3 in relation to his side’s game against Manchester United on 28 October 2012.

"It is alleged that in or around the Match Officials’ changing room at the end of the fixture, Mikel used threatening and/or abusive and/or insulting words and/or behaviour.”

Mikel has not denied the charge – in fact, he wants a personal hearing to explain the circumstances surrounding the matter. He has until Friday to do that. Why does he want a hearing? Because he feels aggrieved. He feels he was right. He heard the racist word “monkey” used by the referee.

I believe Mikel heard Clattenburg used the classic Geordie expression “cheeky monkey” though some suggest he said “I don’t give a monkey’s” during the match.

And several sources report Clattenburg calling Juan Mata “Spanish twat” when things became heated late in the game.

Those expressions sound worse in isolation than they do in print. “Cheeky monkey” is by no means a racist insult, it is generally used affectionately towards children in Britain, though few would dream of using those words where a Nigerian midfield enforcer is concerned.

As for “I don’t give a monkey’s”, that’s a post-war phrase meaning “I couldn’t care less” which has largely fallen into disuse south of the Tyne.

“Spanish twat” is probably the worst of the allegations, though it would be difficult to accuse Clattenburg of racism over that particular nationalistic outburst, all part of his chatty refereeing style.

So Clattenburg has been “cleared of any wrongdoing”. The FA say: "We have concluded the investigation into alleged misconduct by Mark Clattenburg during the match between Chelsea FC and Manchester United FC on Sunday 28 October 2012. No disciplinary action will follow against Mr Clattenburg.”

But how is it that Clattenburg, a referee who has a history of bad debt, bad tempered emails and bad decisions, escaped unpunished from what Chelsea clearly believe was a clear case of abuse against TWO of their players – Mikel and Mata? To the point where chairman Bruce Buck has apologised in person and compensation may have to be paid?

After all, Chelsea have yet to recover from the events of that fateful last-gasp 3-2 defeat against Manchester United. They haven’t won a game since, they’ve crashed off the top of the Premier League and out of the Champions League.

And to cap it all, miraculous European conqueror Roberto di Matteo has been sacked as coach in the aftermath, replaced amid loud boos by unloved former Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez.

Clattenburg sent off two Blues – Branislav Ivanovic and, more controversially for diving, Fernando Torres – and awarded United an off-side winner before finding himself confronted by the usually phlegmatic Buck and several others in his dressing room after the match, where the accusations of abuse flew.

Initially, Chelsea wanted action taken against Clattenburg for verbally abusing both Mata and Mikel, but on October 31, they chose to pursue the matter on behalf of Mikel alone.

The FA statement on that read: "On Wednesday 31 October Chelsea FC contacted The FA and confirmed that the club had conducted an internal enquiry and that they did wish to proceed with a formal complaint in relation to one of the allegations of abuse. The club did not wish to proceed in relation to the other allegation. The club provided witness statements from two players, Ramires Santos do Nascimento (“Ramires”) and John Obi Mikel.”

Ramires and Mikel were interviewed by The FA on November 5 where the FA also used video footage of the match. Chelsea provided "unbroadcast television coverage of the game from static cameras" which The FA showed Ramires when he was re-interviewed on November 15.

The FA also revealed that its findings showed that Ramires' first language is not English and that Mikel "was much closer to the referee than Ramires and did not hear what it is suggested was said to him."

The three other match officials, who were also witnesses in the case, said Clattenburg did not utter the "alleged words" via their communication gadgets. But would Mikel and Mata have reported the words if they hand’t been uttered? I doubt it.

Though Sir Alex Ferguson leapt to Clattenburg’s defence – insisting with absolutely no basis that Clattenburg would “never do that” – there can be no question a display of very poor refereeing was punctuated by very poorly chosen words.

But the FA appear to feel that doesn’t matter. Punishing Mikel for his righteous indignation does. Do 

they give a monkey’s?

Clattenburg's clangers: Still trying to verify veracity of this picture!

United we stand: I suspect this is a dodgy picture

A REFFING DISGRACE. There is no other way to describe a weekend of enthralling – but highly controversial – action in the English Premier Division.

In two days of screaming injustice, the so-called greatest football league in the world contrived to produce THREE questionable results thanks to the whistle-while-you-work brigade.

At Arsenal, Mikel Arteta’s scrambled winner over QPR was shown to be off-side when the Spaniard hit the bar with a header before ramming the ball over the line on the rebound.

At Everton, Liverpool were denied a clear last-minute Merseyside Derby winner when the unloved Luiz Suarez was robbed of a last-minute hat-trick and a 3-2 win.

And most infamously of all, there were two incidents at Stamford Bridge which suggest the top-of-the-table clash between Chelsea and Manchester United was radically altered by a man in black called Mark Clattenburg.

This morning Clattenburg, the man chosen to referee the Olympic final between Brazil and Mexico at Wembley a month ago, stands accused of abusing two Chelsea players, one of them racially.

Before that the 37-year-old from Newcastle had sent off two Chelsea players with the match evenly balanced at 2-2, the Blues staging a remarkable comeback after United had taken an early 2-0 lead.

The first sending off of Branislav Ivanovic was fair enough but the second – a second yellow for Fernando Torres “simulating” after being clearly fouled by Johnny Evans – was simply ridiculous. And though the referee can always blame his assistant, Javier Hernandez’s winner was certainly off-side too.

Remember, Clattenburg is the guy who was told he would never referee again in January 2009 after “breaching his contract” and sending threatening emails to business associates  over debts of £175,000 (R2million).

A few months later Clattenburg was at it again, sending off Craig Bellamy and telling the Manchester City bench at Bolton: “How do you work with him all week?”

In 2010, Clattenburg was the referee who controversially allowed Manchester United’s Portuguese star Nani to score when Tottenham goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes had placed the ball for a “ghost” free-kick.

Now Chelsea are claiming Clattenburg called Juan Mata, scorer of a wonderful free-kick on Sunday, “a Spanish twat” when he was cautioned in the 76^th minute.

Chief executive Ron Gourlay, with Mikel and manager Roberto Di Matteo, demanded an apology after the game but Clattenburg refused and Chelsea released a statement yesterday saying: “We have lodged a complaint with regards to inappropriate language used by the referee and directed at two of our players in two separate incidents.”

For all Clattenburg’s past we can make no real allegations of bribery or match-fixing. As Sir Alex Ferguson said afterwards: “The boy was touched and he made a meal of it. He could have carried on and scored. But the winner was off-side, we had a bit of luck there.”

With previously unbeaten Chelsea boss Roberto di Matteo complaining “all the decisions went United’s way”, the usual accusations against United began. Are they justified? Well, yes, if you consider how many penalties and red cards go the way of the ageless old Scotsman Ferguson.

It’s not corruption, it’s just the Fergie way. Officiate poorly in Sir Alex’s eyes and you’ll never referee a big game again – and you can expect a dressing-room visit not to mention a satanic choir of complaing Red Devils.

Referees like Howard Webb have long been accused of being on a United contract, but the truth is they are just scared to offend the 70-year-old who has been in charge for 26 highly-successful years.

What the weekend’s injustices demand is not an investigation in to United but a review system for football. Both codes of rugby, all forms of cricket and Grand Slam tennis use various replay systems, and as I 

suggested on eNews yesterday, football has to follow suit.

Give the referee a 30-second time-out to ask the television official if an incident is as it looked, let him make 

a considered decision with replay evidence. Most top-flight matches go in to six or seven minutes of added time anyway, surely the game has time for a quick break to avoid catastrophic refereeing errors?

If FIFA and the FA continue to ignore such demands, the questions around United will never be answered.

From Hash to Hamburg: the weekend South African sportsmen rocked the world

Bearded wonder: Hashim Amla at The Oval

THERE is simply no better way to warm-up for Friday’s Olympic opening ceremony in London than South Africa’s drama-soaked weekend of global conquest.

At The Oval, Durban’s Hashim Amla became the first ever South African to score a triple century as the Proteas crushed England by an innings at The Oval.

At Royal Lytham at St Anne’s, Kempton Park’s Ernie Els produced the most dramatic of finishes to win his second Open Championship ten years after his first.

In Cape Town, our local club Ajax came within seconds of beating mighty Manchester United in front of a full-house, denied only by a last-gasp Bebe equaliser.

In Paris, as the Tour de France saga finished along the Champs Elysees, there was South African-raised Chris Froome, the former St John’s schoolboy from Johannesburg, ushering yellow-shirted winner Bradley Wiggins to an historic one-two finish for the British.

In, Hamburg, with no great fuss, Cape Town’s Richard Murray, 23, won his first world series triathlon, out-sprinting double world champion Javier Gomez of Spain to set himself up as a serious medal contender in London.

And Down Under in Brisbane, the Sharks roared in to an all-South African Super15 semi-final against the Stormers at Newlands on Saturday with an emphatic 30-17 win over the reigning Reds.

Amla’s is the greatest of these sporting fairy-tales. His unbeaten 311 came on top of centuries for captain Graeme Smith in his 100^thTest and a mighty 182 not out from ageless all-rounder Jacques Kallis.

They eventually declared on 637-2 after two record partnerships and the most comprehensive deconstruction of a home bowling attack in the 145-year history of Test cricket.
On day five, Dale Steyn took five wickets as England succumbed to an innings defeat on a ground where they had never previously lost to South Africa.

In his typically modest, bearded way, Amla, 29, said: “The runs are not as important as the team position. We are in a good place. With my scoring rate, 300 is usually a very long journey.

"I have a firm belief that everyone who has played a part in my career should have a share in whatever success I had. If we could divide the 300 runs up, they would all get a piece.

“I don’t deserve to be compared to Brian Lara. Whatever runs you get, I’m just grateful for it.”

Fikile Mbulula, in London for Friday’s torch-lighting after giving Biff a South Africa flag before his landmark 100th Test at the ground renamed The Ou Wil in honour of the Proteas, was all smiles.

The Minister of Sport said: "This is a sign of good things to happen on the British soil. This can only symbolize more glory for us as a country in July and August.

"The standing ovation the Big Easy received comes at the time when we prepare to compete with nations of the world during the 2012 London Olympic and Paralympic games.

“But words can't express how I feel about Hashim Amla. He just keeps creating waves and moving mountains."

A decade after his historic win at Muirfield, Ernie said: “I’ve got to thank President Nelson Mandela, who’s been such an influence in our country, we are truly blessed to have a man like that to take us through a very difficult time. We can see the success of our country now thanks to Madiba.

“The President has been very much in my thoughts. I was lying this morning watching the cricket. And the thought came to me. If I win, I have to thank President Mandela. I grew up in the Apartheid era. Right after the change, I was the first one to win a major. There’s a lot of significance there… he got on a telephone to me in Pittsburgh. We intertwine together in a crazy way.

“I haven’t been in this position for ten years. Crazy, crazy, crazy. To make up all those shots, I just felt good. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I just knew I was going to feel good about this. I’ve been in such a negative mode for such a long time.

“I don’t think I missed a shot on the back nine. I feel comfortable here – and had a lot of help from the crowd.

“But I really feel for my buddy Adam Scott, I’ve been there before, blown majors before. I hope Scotty doesn’t take it as hard as I did.”

Now thoughts turn to the Olympics. To our women footballers, Banyana Banyana, who begin their campaign tomorrow, and the athletes – particularly Sunette Viljoen and Caster Semenya – and the swimmers, Cameron van den Burgh and Chad Le Clos, not forgetting the two hockey teams.

The target is 12 medals. Many doubt Team South Africa can reach that mark after the single medal disappointment of Beijing four years ago. But given the events of the weekend, perhaps we can expect a few outstanding surprises…

Don't panic: Sir Alex Ferguson goes all Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on us

IN many of the less relaxed football clubs on the Inner Rim of the Footballing Galaxy, Sir Alex Ferguson has already supplanted the great Sir Alf Ramsey as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for he scores over the older, more pedestrian (and now dead) manager in two important respects.
First, Sir Alex is Scottish; and secondly he now has the words DON’T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on his forehead.
After earth-shaking Festive season defeats against rock-bottom Blackburn Rovers (3-2) and Newcastle United (3-0), the Manchester United boss goes in to today’s FA Cup third round clash against neighbours City with the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy mantra firmly in mind.
Sir Alex, who turned 70 on December 31, said: “We have the experience to cope, we need to get the show on the road.
”It’s not a time for panic. Losing a game at this time of the year can sometimes happen.”
The Scot, not averse to the odd Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (the effect is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick, according to the Guide), is only too aware of Roberto Mancini’s last outing: a universally acclaimed 3-0 win over Liverpool on Tuesday.
He said: ”Advantage to them, of course.”
Sir Alex, who could do with a towel (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels. A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus Ⅴ, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal - a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you, daft as a bush like Joey Barton, but ravenous; you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough, but that's enough about towels) and a few goals from returning Boxing Day Gargle Blaster Wayne Rooney at The Etihad Stadium on Sunday (live on SuperSports 3, 5pm South African time) adds a few words for arch-rivals Liverpool, who rank alongside Vogon Constructor Fleets in Mancunian affections.
Under pressure to ease tensions over the racist abused heaped on United full back Patrice Evra by Uruguayan Luis Suarez, Sir Alex growled: “It is nice of Liverpool to call for peace talks through the press. You would have thought they would come to Manchester United first.
”I do not see why there is any need for it. I have nothing to say about it.”
Suarez has been banned for eight games after using the N-word nine times and telling Evra “I’m Spanish I don’t speak to blacks”.
Ironically, his return from suspension is likely to fall at Old Trafford on February 11 where the Uruguayan will be about as welcome as an appearance from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
As for reports of Chelsea's unhappy Frank Lampard moving to Old Trafford, you might have well as suggested Zaphod Beeblebrox was planning a move to Manchester. Sir Alex grunted: "Do you really believe that? There is no foundation to it. We won't get the players that we would like. What can you get in January? What do you do? Do you take a second-rate player? No, of course you don't."
So if not Lamps, then what exactly IS the answer for gloomy United as the transfer window opens? That's easy. 42.
For this and more stories like it, read South Africa's new Sunday tabloid SCOOP! this Sunday, available from all good newsagents, supermarkets and street vendors. See www.scoopnews.co.za.

Rooney Exposed As England Head For The Swiss Hills... Who's Next?

ONLY one thing shocks me after the marriage-wrecking Wayne Rooney revelations over the weekend. It’s this: How come everyone's acting so surprised?

Before England’s squad departed for the World Cup in South Africa in June, the news was out and about. Three rumours were doing the rounds. One of them (and not the biggest one): Wayne Rooney had been seeing a prostitute while his wife Colleen was pregnant. The Mirror finally overcame the lawyers and published the details on Sunday, leaving Rooney’s place in tomorrow night’s Euro 2012 clash with Switzerland in Basel in jeopardy.

Truth is, Rooney wasn’t the only one who spent the World Cup sweating, awaiting the call from home. You an imagine them sitting in the middle of nowhere, waiting to hear the news that their nefarious activities had been exposed at last. England’s Royal Bafokeng Sports Campus near Rustenburg was awash with nervous footballers.

John Terry, of course, had already been stripped of the captaincy by then after the News of the World revelaed he had been having an affair with Vanessa Perroncel, the mother of former Chelsea team-mate Wayne Bridge’s son.

Three weeks ago, England striker Peter Crouch was exposed by the same Sunday tabloid over his relationship with a prostitute despite being engaged to Abbey Clancy.

Ashley Cole’s “quickie” divorce from celebrity wife Cheryl Cole went through last week after months of revelations from various women who knew he wears y-fronts (and had pictures to prove it).

Two further “super-injunctions” remain in place, preventing the voracious British tabloids from exposing the full, sad story surrounding the current England squad.

As I said before and during the World Cup, having seven or eight players hovering over their mobile phones fearing devastation in their private lives is no way to win the greatest footballing event on earth. Taken away from their comfortable, cosseted lives at home, they were isolated from their minders and advisors in Africa, and it got to them.

That’s what Fabio Capello had to deal with in South Africa. A nightmare epitomised by Rooney’s behaviour after the appalling 0-0 draw with Algeria in Cape Town, when he played like a has-been and mouthed off at the booing fans.

Yet the English press have turned on Capello since an appalling World Cup which culminated in a 4-1 defeat against Germany in the first knock-out round. They were lucky to get that far.

As Capello moaned last week: “You have turned me from a god into a monster.”

What I can’t understand is this: the entire press corps in South Africa knew all about the sword of Damocles hanging over the heads of several England stars. They must have realised Rooney’s moodiness, Terry’s rebellious Sunday press conference, Cole’s lack of spark, not to mention that infamous training ground scrap between captain Gerrard and former captain Terry was sparked by events Capello couldn’t hope to control.

The poor bloke has just landed in Switzerland where he is trying to cope with the Rooney revelations. No football manager should have to deal with this kind of thing.

But Capello, after the glorious World Cup qualifying campaign, found himself at the long-awaited finals in South Africa surrounded by players living on the edge.

He has returned determined to do his job once more. To get England to the tournament in Poland and the Ukraine in two years’ time. He started the campaign in style with a 4-0 win over Bulgaria at Wembley on Friday night, with Rooney playing a starring role as the architect of Jermain Defoe’s hat-trick.

Now Capello must decide if Rooney is psychologically fit to play Switzerland tomorrow night. And hope neither of the other two super-injunctions fails before then. No names, but blimey, if the other stuff comes out, Capello will be struggling to name a team.

And here’s the point. Knowing now what Capello was trying to cope with in South Africa, will the media apologise to the proud Italian? Will they accept it wasn’t Capello’s fault half his side played like dunderheads at the World Cup?

And if he inspires a second successive qualifying win in Basel, will they agree (as they did before the World Cup) the Italian is the best man for the job despite his lack of fluency at press conferences?

I hope so. Fabio, forget the broken English, you’re fab. Not your fault you are in charge of a bunch of over-paid philanderers.

There is another view. If the press weren’t allowed to publish these stories, England could be world-beaters. Luckily, we live in a nation where the press is relatively free.

To see exclusive revelations about England’s off-field problems before and during the World Cup, simply scroll through early entries at www.neal-collins.blogspot.com.