Why always me? Here's why Mario, we just don't know what to make of your particular talents

"The boy should have been off. Balotelli has kicked Scott Parker in the head . He's back-heeled him in the head. He does it a lot, I've seen it. What does Scottie think? He thinks he kicked him in the head. I don't know why you would do that on a football pitch. Have a look at it on your machines. It's there for everybody to see."
With those words from Harry Redknapp, Mario Balotelli's place right at the forefront of our footballing headlines were assured.
By then, the experts in the Premier League's international studio had already assured us that the Ghanian-born Italian's graceless stomping on the prone Parker were deliberate.
Andy Townsend insisted "the FA should take another look at that" while Alan Curbishley had "no doubts about it". The first stagger, where a foot cracked Parker as Balotelli came down from an attempted shot, looked like an accident. But the second, a wicked stab of the heel, looked pretty damning.
But of course, the reason Balotelli stays at the forefront of our minds is that he doesn't stop at petulance and nastiness. He also throws in a dose of good football. And in this case, that meant going down in injury time for the vital Manchester City winner.
And then getting up to stick the penalty past Brad Friedel, the oldest and best in the Premier League, though you wouldn't think so if he passed you in the street dressed in a suit.
While the travelling Spurs fans and Redknapp vented their fury at the injustice of it all, they might have considered the greatest unfairness of all. That Jermain Defoe is only 5ft 6ins high. I've stood next to him. Knee high to the proverbial Zurich Grasshopper.
When Gareth Bale, scorer of an excellent leveller to make it 2-2 after nine frantic second half minutes featuring four goals, crossed the ball shortly before the Balotelli penalty, Defoe looked nailed on to score.
But his little legs just weren't long enough, the toe cap put the ball wide and City went up the other end to finish the challenge of the cheeky North Londonders forever.
Harry, after adding a few more choice Balotelli comments (unless I'm mistaken, he accused him of serial stomping), said: ''We had a great chance when Gareth laid it across to Jermain, we were all up on our seats thinking it was 3-2. It proves we're as good as anyone, they weren't better than us today but they nicked it in the 94th minute.
''We had a bad two or three minutes and conceded the two goals but we showed great character to come back and I could see us winning from there.'
Harry might consider the fate of Ledley King after this. Spurs had never lost with their perpectually injured centreback in the team. He barely trains due to an ongoing battle of the wounded knees. But he looked knackered for that last-gasp City foray into Tottenham's box. The foul on Balotelli was a nailed on penalty. The King is due for usurping with the pipe and slippers.
With Arsenal being completely outplayed by chasing Manchester United, it was another bad day for North London against the Mancunians. Back in August, when Arsenal lost 8-2 to United and Spurs were done 5-1 by City, it amounted to 13-3 in favour of the northerners.
It won't be as bad this time - Arsenal went down 2-1 despite yet another Robin van Persie goal - but the result is the same. Capital punishment. This title will be decided in Manchester.
For Arsenal, with two wins in seven games, the more worrying aspect of their defeat against United came with the crowd's response to the subsitution of the excellent young Southampton signing Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. With the out-of-sorts Andrei Arshavin coming on and a bumbling Theo Walcott looking embarrassed not to be replaced, the boos rang around the Emirates.
A few minutes later Danny Wellbeck won the game with Arshavin - featuring prominently on the box - failing to make a tackle.
Can Arsene Wenger survive another long-term assault from the critics?

The face of the man who could bring cricket to its knees: England's first convicted match fixer faces jail

This is the little-known face of the cheat who could bring cricket to its knees. Essex paceman Mervyn Westfield faces jail after becoming the first Englishman convicted of match-fixing.

He will be sentenced on 10 February but – with three Pakistani cricketers jailed in England last year over similar charges – the 23-year-old is expected to name further fixers in the game as he bids to get his sentence reduced.

Westfield was warned by Judge Anthony Morris: “Mr Westfield, I hold out no promises but it is open to the court to pass an immediate custodial sentence.”

Morris also promised to name the “well-known” cricketing character who paid Westfield. The ECB announced an amnesty on match-fixers last Friday in an attempt to get further corruption out in the open – but Cricket South Africa refused to accept the need for something similar in this country despite the shadow of the late Hansie Cronjé’s match-fixing, exposed in 2000.

One CSA spokesman told Scoop! last Friday: “Nobody in South Africa is under suspicion.” But Herschelle Gibbs, who admitted to trying to fix an innings in India in 2000 and still plays for the Cobras, received only a six-month ban from cricket.

Westfield, once considered a Test contender, effectively threw his career away for £6 000 (R72 000) when he promised to allow 12 runs to be scored off the first over of a Pro40 match against Durham in September 2009.

Though he bowled a wide, only 10 runs were conceded. Westfield’s legal team argued their client had not gone through with the fix, but the judge said he found it “difficult to accept”that he would not have been paid.

The game was broadcast live on Sky across India and Pakistan, making it eminently fixable. Westfield conceded 60 runs from his seven overs but Essex went on to win by seven wickets.

Born in Romford near London, Westfield boasted about his ill-gotten earnings to col¬leagues, who blew the whistle.

Westfield’s conviction is a huge embarrassment for English cricket, coming three months after Pakistan stars Salman Butt, Mohammad Asif and Mohammad Amir were jailed for spot-fixing.

This story first appeared in Scoop! South Africa's new Sunday tabloid. See www.scoopnews.co.za

It is never pleasant being attacked by a swan. Ask Arsene Wenger

Up the Swanny: Arsenal beaten 3-2

I was attacked by a swan once, circa 1999. When I invaded his island with my son Kriss on the Misbourne River in Chalfont St Peter, Buckinghamshire. His name was King Tut. Hit me with his wing, left a mark like a baseball bat on my back. Still have nightmares, falling face first in the river, nearly unconscious.

And it felt like that watching Arsenal play the Swans yesterday. Hit by a baseball bat. Drowning in mediocrity. De Ja-bloody-vu it was.  A nerve-jangling, devastating 3-2 defeat to follow the appalling reverse against Fulham, the hopeless draw against Wolves. And Manchester United to come to the Emirates next week. Oh, God, no.

Swansea manager Brendan Rodgers, the former Chelsea youth boss who struggled in charge at Reading, is loving his life of freedom at the Liberty Stadium. They actually outplayed Arsenal, out-passed them. Afterwards he said: "We have a great belief that we can play and pass. Some of our ball retention today was incredible. It's always going to be a fantastic football game against Arsenal. Strictly come passing! They've been doing it for years, we're only beginning. It's great to win such a game."

Predictably, Arsene Wenger kicked-off his post-match comments insisting "it was never a penalty" and said: "We missed some great chances at 3-2, and at this level we cannot afford that. We made massive mistakes on the third goal. It's difficult to explain. We'd just come back to 2-2 we knew we had what it takes to score the third goal.

"It's a bit down to the fact we shuffled the defence around, some players do not play in that position. But in the last two games we have given away cheap goals.

"They played well, they're a good side. They had a lot of possession in their half. But it's just a side like ours. At 1-0 up and 2-2 we don't want to make mistakes like we did.

"I feel we can still make a strong bid for the top four. But today and at Fulham, we lost the game. And we cannot afford that."

The start was predictable enough,. Robin van Persie, as ever, got the early goal, a personal best 18 for the season. It's going to be a record for the Dutch master. I bite the coffee table, snog the cat... and the security in my fingerprinted estate in Centurion on the Hennops River in South Africa (where there are many, many swans, black and white) was called to investigate the screams.

Then what happens?

The only Welsh side in the Premier League gets one back. The softest of penalties as Aaron Ramsey - yes, a Welshman - touches a home player. Nathan Dyer, superb yesterday, collapsed like the Dying Swan, but without the balletic grace.
Dyer said afterwards: "What a massive confidence boost. We passed it around well, played them at their own game. We've got the same philosophy as they have. It was a great game of football for the neutrals."

On the penalty, he said: "He kicked my foot, I just went over. Look, we're just enjoying playing in the Premier League. Every game, luckily for us we're doing well. We've got a good work ethic."

Scott Sinclair - five from five from the spot this season - tucks away the penalty, Sche... Swech... the Polish keeper can't get to it and it's 1-1. Swansea are holding the ball like Arsenal used to when they had Samir Nasri, Cesc Fabregas and Jack Wilshere (remember him? Me Neither) and then Van Persie gets another sight of goal... and fails to beat Michel Vorm with a much easier chance than his first.

Dyer flashes a shot in, 40 minutes gone, this time Scze... Schew... the Polish keeper gets to it. But it's only a matter of time. Like the devastating Fulham defeat, Arsenal have the lead but can't hold it. Can't even hold the ball.

Half-time. Level at 1-1. The agony is just beginning. Surely not a defeat against the promoted Swans? Not this weekend when Spurs dropped two points at Wolves and fourth place remains a realistic hope? Lose this and we're four behind Chelsea in the last Champions League spot.

On the Premier League's international programme we watch here on SuperSport in SA, Andy Townsend says he can't see a touch by Ramsey on Dyer. Alan Curbishley says he can. All I can see is Ramsey doing the splits, barely brushing Dyer. The Arsenal man is lucky to escape injury. Dyer is lucky to escape an Oscar.

But it matters not. As we shall see very soon, this Arsenal side is far too fragile. They are not Champions League material, though they have qualified to face AC Milan in the knock-out stages next month. This will be their last European Cup campaign for a while.

After 56 of those agonising minutes, Wojciech Szczesny (yes, that's the Polish keeper, with the J, W, Y and two Zs in all the right places) is beaten again. Nathan, the Dyer Swan, capitalises after yet another stray pass from Andrei Arshavin, the bloke who once said he qualified as a fashion designer at home in St Petersburg.

Go back to the needlework, Meerkat. It's only fair. Your species may scare snakes, but these Swans were entirely impervious to your threat. Off he went, past Wenger, substituted without even an apology to the baying Gooners so desperate for a sniff of a trophy after six lean years.

On the hour mark, the bearded wonder arrives. Thierry Henry. Scorer of the only goal on his comeback debut on loan from the New York Red Bulls. Will this be a repeat of the 2-1 defeat at Fulham or the 1-0 FA Cup win over Leeds?

It’s going to be neither. First Theo Walcott levels, a brilliant finish for once from the man we all hoped for so much from. But within 45 seconds, David Graham has the Swans back in front. Per Mertesacker fails to see the run. Inexplicably, he stops. Szczesny gets his angles all wrong.  That's the 25th goal conceded away from home for a ramshackle team of supposed title contenders.

On Twitter, the world explodes. Virtual roars, oaths and despair. Incredible. Dramatic. Conceding in seconds. Never seen anything like it.

Oh yes we have. Remember the 4-0 lead against Newcastle that became a 4-4 draw? Remember Fulham a couple of weeks ago? That’s when we saw it. Arsenal fans are used to it. We can’t defend a lead. Not even four goals.

I can see King Tut coming down the river at me, framed by weeping willows. Swans are dangerous. Especially on their own territory. I said it at half-time, it was back to haunt us all, we Gooners.

Mertesacker misses a chance to level from a corner, then he is removed by Wenger, who is going for broke. Apparently the German has an illness. But he appears to have been off-colour since January when he made his surprising arrival in North London. Sick as a bloody parrot he's been.

I've seen better centre-backs in South Africa... try Erick "Tower" Mathoho at Bloemfontein Celtic, Arsene. Or perhaps you could approach rivals Spurs and ask if you could have Bongani Khumalo, the cool Bafana Bafana centrehalf, currently not being used on loan by Reading.

As a Ramsey header thumps in to Vorm's chest, we have seven minutes left. Manchester United to come next weekend, and Arsenal are 3-2 down to Swansea, who have been creating chances at the other end. Appalling.

Tomas Rosicky has two late chances, Koscielny has another, Vorm repels them comfortably. Van Persie wriggles and writhes in injury time, but nothing can save them. For the sixth time this season, the travelling Goonners fall silent.

Swans? They're a bloody nightmare.

Spurs reject QPR bid for Bafana captain Pienaar... but that's only half the story

SPURS rejected the first of an expected avalanche of bids for Steve Pienaar on Friday when new Queens Park Rangers boss Mark Hughes approached Harry Redknapp for the under-used South African captain.

Pienaar, brought up in the tough Westbury area of Johannesburg, has played just five times for in-form Tottenham this season - but his appearances have been limited to Carling Cup and Europe League outings.

His bargain  £2m move from Everton in January 2011 was engineered by manager Rob Moore after a new contract went unsigned at Goodison Park.

Hughes is believed to have offered around the same price for Pienaar, but will up the bid to  £3m in an attempted to make Pienaar his first signing since taking over from Neil Warnock at Loftus Road.

Pienaar, injured in pre-season, finds himself unable to get beyond Gareth Bale on the left of Harry Redknapp's title-chasing midfield - a minor fact overlooked (but mentioned here) when he snubbed Chelsea for Spurs a year ago.

Pienaar, 29, and agent Moore insisted the move was all about playing Champions League football but Spurs failed to finish in the top four last season and missed out on Europe's premier competition.

Everton are also believed to be interested in ending Pienaar's misery, offering to take him back on loan to the club where he won the fans's player of the season award in 2009. Pienaar is also being watched by Scottish giants Celtic and Spurs' injury-ravaged neighbours Arsenal.

Spurs boss Redknapp is believed to be persuadable on the issue of Pienaar's departure but publicly he said: "I wouldn't want to let him go. He is a good player," Redknapp said. "I brought him on for the last 10 minutes against Everton on Wednesday and he didn't give the ball away. I don't have any need to weaken the squad. I would rather have a good squad for last 18 matches of the season than let one or two go who could play a part in the run-in."

But surely the point is, if Redknapp really didn't want Pienaar to go, how did knowledge of QPR's bid emerge in all the English newspapers simulataneously. Harry, though he denies it, is a wheeler dealer in the market. My belief is he "leaked" news of the bid, along with quotes saying he still wanted Pienaar. That way, he gets to keep Pienaar happy while stoking a bidding war for his talented but largely redundant South African.

Pienaar's Spurs career started promisingly, the South African slotting in to the team after an injury to Gareth Bale. He started the Londoners' Champions League second-round game away to Milan but a series of injuries meant that he saw little first-team action. He suffered a concussion after clashing heads with a team-mate, Bongani Khumalo, during training in February and he picked up a groin problem towards the end of the season.

Pienaar was confident that the groin problem had gone away, but it flared up again in pre-season and he had to undergo surgery, ruling him out until mid-September. Another two setbacks kept him out until November.

My experience tells me the Hughes bid was leaked to the British press in an attempt to "make a market" for Pienaar, with bigger and better bids coming soon. But Pienaar should hold firm. The transfer window still has a fortnight to run. And Bale could yet suffer an injury which could tranform Schillo's Spurs fortunes.

Sout Appeal: how YOU feel about the South Africans who opt for England

SPORTS fans on the social networking sites responded with some gusto when asked how they felt about the migration to England of a galaxy of South African sports stars.

The story was sparked by a simple twitter from a sportsmad follower called Ben Wessels on Twitter.

He lamented the selection of Brad Barritt for England this week. Durban-born centre Brad captained KearsneyCollege’s first XV in 2004 and played for the Sharks before joining Saracens and getting called-up by England’s new coach Stuart Lancaster for next month’s Six Nations championship.

In an article for Sunday’s Scoop!, South Africa’s new Sunday newspaper, I asked:

Do you have strong feelings about the number of South African stars stolen by England? Brad Barritt the latest rugby player, six in Englandcricket squad, even Andrew Surman of Norwich... is it fair?

We focused on the decision of ten South African-born stars to play for England, including “Saffacens” trio Barritt, Mouritz Botha and Matt Stevens plus cricket captain Andrew Strauss (though he left aged six), Kevin Pietersen, Jonathan Trott, Matt Prior, Craig Kieswetter and Jade Dernbach.

Norwich City midfielder Andrew Surman also opted to play for the England Under 21s last year after the Johannesburg-born midfielder’s pleas for a place in Bafana Bafana’s World Cup squad in 2010 were ignored.

 Here’s a selection of your responses which will be published in Scoop! (available at all respectable street corners in Gautengand KZN) on Sunday along with a super graphic from our image specialist Johan Smith. Don’t miss it!

@Zaakirinho (Zaakir Hoosen): The problem is, many countries are unable to stop the leak. Who is the winner, Brit talent is overshadowed as well? I believe if a player represents his birth-country at a junior level he should then NOT be allowed to represent another country?

@daneherbst (Dane Herbst): To be honest I’m going to have to make sure I miss Barritt in Durbanwhen I throw my oranges at the likes of Ashton, Haskell, Armitage and Tindall

@manqoba89 (Xolani Sibeko): The question should be, how are the English feeling about being represented by South Africans? Don’t they have talent there

@mashabanebasil (Basil Mashabane): I see it as just a career move, same with all ex-pats in the UK. They all remain South Africans  at heart. @kevinpp24 (Kevin Pietersen) is an example

@ben_wessels (Ben Wessels): Yes it pisses us off, well it does me at least. More than I like to admit actually. You can keep KP though!

@hamishfs (Hamish Scott): Wish Brad well but Boks are blessed with centres like JdV, Fourien de Jongh, Butch, Lambie and Frans. No way through.

@Sihleb6 (Sihle Blose): I will not blame England if the South African national coaches do not call up the players. What must they do if someone else is calling?

@daveycha (David Rees): It says more about South Africa than it does about England.

ON FACEBOOK:

Pal Mabelane: Don’t mind at all, it’s testimony in how competitive South African cricket is. I just hate losing against them!

Tebogo Mokoana: This is always a bit tricky, looking at Andrew Surman even though people were raving about him Pitso never paid attention. I mean that boy is playing in the biggest league and Pitso was asked first what he thinks of him! Davide Somma (Leeds) had to be trafted into the team because of the media pressure.

Tshilidzi Thame: Its not fair but good for the game, especially cricket. We have enough capacity and why not share…

Tera Twetwa: Its great to see the non-white players like Vernon Philander and Lonwabo Tsotsobe proving that they are selected on merit. It would be sad to lose quality players because of the quota-system like we did with Pietersen.

Andrew Moumakwe Jnr: Neal, South Africa’s selection system is really shocking at times. Especially soccer and cricket. No continuity. For me it’s a fair deal.

Sakhe Zamela: Are we losing Surman? This sucks big time sir

Dan Webb: You can have Jade Dernbach back!

Just how will twittering bad boy Joey Barton get on with Mark Hughes?

JOEY BARTON became a father for the first time last week at the age of 29. He also scored an 11th-minute goal for QPR against Norwich last Monday afternoon. And after 36 minutes, he got sent-off for the faintest of head-butts on Bradley Johnson, who may even now be considering a career on stage. After seeing his side beaten 2-1 following his dismissal, Barton called for referees to be sued for making mistakes, twittering his 1,040,204 followers: “I wonder how long it is before a football club sues a referee for making a bad decision?” QPR's hastily arranged appeal against the red card failed and Barton is currently suspended for three games. Entirely ignoring the fact he got Arsenal’s Gervinho sent off in very similar circumstances last season, Barton ranted and tweeted all week before his club drew their FA Cup tie at MK Dons last Saturday without him. That was boss Neil Warnock's last game in charge. Curiously, on Friday, Barton was involved in a training ground bust-up with Warnock and his coaching staff. Though suspended, he railed against having to train alone, yelling: "You lot are not going to be here much longer." By Monday this week, Warnock had gone with his promoted side slipping down the table and with suspicious haste, former Wales, Manchester City and Fulham boss Mark Hughes took over yesterday. Some might say Barton played his part in Warnock's dismissal and you could certainly say Joseph Athony Barton is not your average footballer, even in these Premier League days of excess. For a start, his brother Michael Barton is serving a life sentence for the “racially motivated murder” of Anthony Walker in 2005. In May of the same year, Joey broke a 35-year-old pedestrian's leg while driving his car through Liverpool city centre at 2am. He lists world-beating boxer Ricky Hatton and Oasis singer Noel Gallagher among his close friends. He owns a race-horse called “Crying Lightning” and just last week named his newborn son Cassius. On Twitter, he quotes anybody from Friedrich Nietzsche to George Orwell but insists he is not a member of the right-wing English Defence League after an apparently damning picture with one of their leaders. Brought up in the tough Liverpool neighbourhood of Huyton by his father living in his grandparents’ home, he kicked-off his career at Manchester City and earned his first England cap while he was playing in light blue in 2007. Things began to go wrong when, on 20 May 2008 he was sentenced to six months' imprisonment for common assault and affray during an incident outside a McDonald's restaurant in Liverpool. He served 77 days. While he was inside, in July 2008, he was handed a four-month suspended sentence after admitting to assaulting team-mate Ousmane Dabo at the City training ground. Other incidents of a similar kind went unpunished. At that point, Newcastle stepped in to end his City nightmare, paying £5.8 million for him in July 2007. After four controversial years with the Magpies, he joined his current club Queens Park Rangers in August 2011. And the arguments rage on. While his side prepared for their FA Cup tie he stuck to his twitter guns, tweeting: “Those 3 points against Norwich could be difference between Premier League survival and not. That equates to a lot of money. “Someone has to set the precedent to stop the game from being ruined, maybe I'll be the first one. Can players sue referees? #Canofwormsopen. “Or a player sues another player for play-acting. Which is basically a lie and that is actionable. Whats the difference?” That was followed by a demand for a resumption of fox hunting after he spotted four of the innocent creatures during a walk in a nearby west London park. And he had time for a quick twitter war with a certain Piers Morgan. This week, Barton says, he is going to take a break from Twitter saying "it's boring the tits off me now" and worrying about "withdrawal systems". I don't expect it to last. It's too much fun for him, for us journalists, and the social networkers. Carry on Joey. But don’t expect any sympathy from rival fans, referees… or the notoriously sparky Hughes. There may be (more) trouble ahead.

All white on the night: New racism row for Liverpool as Oldham kid is abused by Anfield fan

LIVERPOOL found themselves in the midst of another racist row on Friday night when Oldham’s young defender Tom Adeyemi was left in tears by an abusive supporter at Anfield.
Liverpool released a statement saying they “will continue to work with the police to establish the details of what happened.”
The incident comes two days after Liverpool forward Luis Suarez issued a partial public apology following his eight-match ban for racially abusing Manchester United defender Patrice Evra.
On their own website, Liverpool fans have started a thread asking why Glenn Johnson is the sole black player in their squad under Kenny Dalglish this season - and Johnson did not play on Friday night.
Full-back Adeyemi, 20, was consoled by Latics team-mates and Liverpool players 10 minutes from the end of the Fmatch after a comment shouted from the Kop.
Adeyemi was walking back into position after a tackle when a supporter wearing a Luis Suarez T-shirt is alleged to have shouted his disgusting racist insults.
An eye witness told police he heard a single voice shout: “You f****** black b******.”
Adeyemi, on loan from Norwich, also gave a statement to police before departing on the team bus. It is understood he also claimed he had been called a “black c***.”
A police spokesman told the BBC: “We can confirm no one has been arrested on suspicion of racially aggravated behaviour.
”However, the Force and Liverpool FC are investigating following an incident that occurred during the second half.
”The aim of the investigation is to establish the full circumstances surrounding the incident to ascertain if any action needs to be taken.”
Oldham boss Paul Dickov said: “I know Tom and something has been said. He is a placid boy who has been well educated and has a fantastic temperament.
”So for him to react like that, it’s obvious that something has been said.”

This is just one of my stories for Scoop! tomorrow: you can also read about Bakkies Botha eating children, Cape Town worried about 2013 Grand Prix, Joey Barton the nutty professional, Tiger out of the woods and  Federer rodgered... not to mention Bafana getting battered in Bata... see www.scoopnews.co.za and pick up a copy on Sunday from supermarkets, newsagents and street corners.